“The next time you want to withhold your help, or your love, or your support for another for whatever the reason, ask yourself a simple question: do the reasons you want to withhold it reflect more on them or on you? And which reasons do you want defining you forevermore?” ― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing.
People dread having to stand up for themselves or saying what is actually on their minds, so Mount Vesuvius erupts when things build up to where they can no longer be contained. Nobody enjoys having to tell someone else how hurt they feel by their actions, and being open and exposing their vulnerability by communicating that fact. And if you’re the person being confronted, you may not even know that you’ve inadvertently overstepped your boundaries, which can feel shocking and humiliating. Or maybe you do know that you haven’t been the best you that you can be, but you don’t know how to change the behavior. This could be as simple as not being truthful in a situation, or as complicated as chemical addiction.
It’s important for those that love you to be able to communicate to you that you’re not living as your highest self, and for that message to be expressed to the offending party in a loving way that doesn’t make them feel attacked. We can’t control how someone will react to news like this, but we do want them to actually hear it, so it’s important to consider the conduit and the timing. Ergo, a text is probably not the best way to handle a tender predicament!
Additionally, support is a vital component for moving forward; it’s not easy for either party in this process. Does the confronted person need support? How can the confronter be there for that person while they recognize something in themselves that hurt another person? Setting boundaries or repairing a state of affairs is very healthy, but it can feel scary, awkward, foreign and difficult. Knowing everyone is surrounded by love and patience during this time can keep the channels open, dialogue productive and pathway clear.
Designer/Stylist: Peggy Khoucasian / Writer: Christie Cole
Yogi: CloYoga / Photography: www.bigcameraman.info/