Investing your heart in someone can mean it ends up broken. Instilling trust in another person may mean the foundation you’re constantly building becomes easily – and swiftly – destroyed. Others in relationships might be too afraid to be on their own, immersed so much in being a ‘couple’ that they’ve lost their own individual identities and use another person to fill that void. Co-dependency is a form of protection, a way to barricade from being alone.
At this point I imagine nobody reading this post is running out to say ‘heck YEAH, baby! Sign me UP for the package deal that leaves my heart in chaos and ruin!’ So what the heck are we doing this for, then!?
My impeccably styled, strong and brilliant university professor compared relationships to a molecule of water. She likened one person to oxygen, and the other to hydrogen. Separately, they both have their own identities. Together, they make water, or H20. However, both oxygen and hydrogen do not cease to be who they are once they’re bonded together to make a drop of water. They retain who they are, and at the same time, they make something else in addition, something of essential, wonderful value. They’re better off for being with each other but their essential identities do not become erased in the process, or the molecule would not be water anymore.
You find out so much about yourself through the process of relating to other people. When you interact, inner feelings and thoughts can surface from inside you and be expressed, instead of lying there dormant and unknown. Relationships help reinforce who you are, show you where you are weak and encourage growth. Hopefully you bring out the best in each other, but maybe you don’t, and you have an opportunity to learn from that, or cut ties from what isn’t working.
You don’t know what you know until you know it, right? Unless you’ve run off to an island with only plants or a volleyball named Wilson for company, we have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable because it clearly isn’t going away. And what we may have deemed originally someone being too scared to live life on their own might actually be viewed as quite brave – bravery of being seen and loved, and embracing the process of learning how to relate with others in a healthy and positive way.
“True love is taking the risk that it won’t be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, I’m not afraid to believe in you.” ~Cara Lockwood
Designer/Stylist: Peggy Khoucasian / Writer: Christie Cole
Yogi: CloYoga / Photography: www.bigcameraman.info/